Fine Dining in Erin: Wiener Update!

[Petitbois]

JB is back at school!!!
Chef school, that is. Gittin' some book larnin'!!
With the expansion of the menu at the iScream Store, (ie: JB's oversized sausage!) he has to bone up on the latest technology; cooking techniques; dietary breakthroughs; medical procedures; pricing strategies; health issues; liability concerns; zoning, building code and inspection; trends in employee benefits, uniforms, and sick days; and lastly, where to invest all the new profits.

His swank office now looks like a library!
Books are piled all over the place, displacing his vintage collection of "Redneck Pastimes for Erinites" magazine.
Now he's reading stuff like:

"Roadkill- an Alternate Source of Protein"

"We Have a Wiener! Marketing Your Meat"

"Know Your NItrates: A Primer on the World of Tube Steaks"

"Keep them Guessing: 50 Ways to Discourage Nutritional Questions"

"Meat Monger: A Success Story in Rural Ontario"

"Sausage and Subterfuge: How to Extend the Shelf Life of Cooked Meats Without Refrigeration"

"Does Size Really Matter? From Shopsy to Octoberfest- A Woman's Perspective"

"Salmonella is not a Female Fish!"

"No Natural Ingredients: How Hotdogs are Saving our Farm Animals"

"Stomach Pumps: a Do-It-Yourself Manual"

"Holy Food: Sausage and the Religious Right"

"30 Ways to Warm Your Buns"

"Condoments vs. the Vatican: What's Right for You?"

"Pricing Your Meat: What Will The Market Bear?"

"Tube Steak and the Modern Portable Toilet- A Practical Guide"

"Sausage & Sour Krauts", by Karl Hans Schreiber

"Mini-Size Me: Will A Small Weenie Sell During a Recession?"


There are hundreds of new books and articles out there on fast food.
If you know of any other publications that might be beneficial to JB's new venture, (especially those on ethnic wieners- England, Wales, Iraq etc.) please feel free to list them below.

[JulieJane]

Well, if JB wants to make it worth it the while to drive to Erin for a hot dog or (preferably) a sausage, I sincerely hope he's going to grill them and not plop them in a pan of hot water.

So, John, get out your best barbecue "How to Grill" book and study up. And could you please provide some sauerkraut with the fixin's.

They don't necessarily have to be "foot longs" either - six or eight inches would be lovely. Just make sure there's plenty of meat on them.

We await with eager anticipation.

[John_Bailey]

They always say size doesn't matter, it's the quality of the meat that counts.
Thanks for the confirmation.
I will be checking the opinions of all the women who try the treat this summer and report back in the fall.

[Petitbois]

I will be checking the opinions of all the women who try the treat this summer and report back in the fall.

With pictures???

[John_Bailey]

You wish.

[Aligreen]

OMG I laughed out loud at that one!!!!

[jester1-2]

Will you be using a questionnaire for your research or relying on oral response only. I have heard it whispered (and moaned) that women sometimes tell fibs regarding their sausage satisfaction levels and you have to be careful as some women may be getting other sausages not only yours. Maybe you should be giving out some free samples of your best sausage on opening day just on a trial basis. Nothing worse than standing there with your sausage in your hand and no interest being shown by passers by.
Anyway good luck with the new enterprise, maybe next you could try say burgers or fries. Just think burgers fries hot-dogs and ice cream all under one roof, all you need is a snappy new name using something milky sounding with oh I don't know something with royalty. Tie that together and you could start franchising all over.

[Petitbois]

Great suggestion, J12!!!

What about King Cream.?
Or Creme de King?

Maybe a bit rich though, for a town that still sees some of its occupants drive in to shop on their John Deere...

[Petitbois]

"Nothing worse than standing there with your sausage in your hand and no interest being shown by passersby."

JB already knows that feeling.
(Remember the incident with the trench coat, when he claimed he was practising for a role as Inspector Gadget in a local theatre production??? He got off with pubic service...)

[John_Bailey]

Jester
If you know a woman who doesn't lie about her sausage I would like to meet her.
You sound experienced at selling sausage you must have been in the business at one time.

I hear PB used to sell sausage for 50 cents an inch, he gave up when he found out it took a lot of work to make money at a buck a crack. If he just had a shower the price dropped to a quarter.

[Scooter1]

Sure wish you folks would drop in at the GEORGETOWN, ONTARIO FAN PAGE, we are having a blast!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/Georgetown.Ontario?ref=ts

Don

[Petitbois]

I hear PB used to sell sausage for 50 cents an inch. He gave up when he found out it took a lot of work to make money at a buck a crack. If he just had a shower the price dropped to a quarter.

You heard correctly. I put myself through university. Never had to drop to a quarter though: I ran hot water in the shower.
PB

[John_Bailey]

Yes take PB with you he's being a pain in the butt.
Go with The Don PB.

[John_Bailey]

And give me Mark back, I know it's not an even trade but if Jester keeps it up I'll give you him too.
I know mark has five personalities but there's only 4 people left here and at the present time there's only one I'd like to get rid of. So I'll give you some future considerations. OK.

[Scooter1]

We are having a walk down memory lane and sure could use your input, you do not have to get involved with the other goings on at FACEBOOK if you do not wish to!
Don
You will know a few folks there!

[Scooter1]

You do not have to give up either, you can have both, I have not left here, this is my home and I own it, Mark is not been by the Fan Page, but he would have alot to offer.

[John_Bailey]

I can do face book right here.

[John_Bailey]

Just got up.

[John_Bailey]

Now I'm going for a leak.

[John_Bailey]

Now I'm back.

[John_Bailey]

Now I'm playing a game.

[John_Bailey]

I need cows for my farm.

[John_Bailey]

I need nails for my house.

[John_Bailey]

Forget it,I need PB to stop me.

[Al Darby]

Thanks JB, you've pinpointed the exact reason(s) why I deleted my Facebook account. I mean who cares if the X-Man is doing his laundry (besides the "Clean Gonchies for a Clean Planet Movement")?

I'm enjoying the "Frick 'n Frack" act you and PB have got going, just looking for an opening to jump into. Barring that, may have to start a "Slick 'n Slack" act (dibs on "Slick").