MIA? Rumour has it.....

[Petitbois]

In these most unusual times there is a rumour or two circulating about Doctor Dork, and how he is dealing with this crisis.
Is he still holding religious meetings, rallies?
If you make a tax deductible donation to his 'cause', are you automatically immune to the virus?
Is he still distributing protective amulets to the Faithful?
What is his theological stand on the virus?
When do the locusts arrive?
Admittedly, more questions than answers, but that has always been true of DORK.
If anyone has seen him, please post.
Though with everyone wearing masks he may be harder to spot at Freshco......

[ScourgeoftheFaithless]

You may mock Us, Mr Petitbois, but your time will come and then woe betide you.

However, this message is not for you. Our flock has asked Us to comment on these terrible times, and We are please to provide Our wisdom.

We must confess, We did not expect smiting to look like this. And although We were well aware of how ubiquitous the wantonness and Godlessness was of which We have so often warned, We did not expect the smiting to be so wide-spread. Indeed, We are chastened. And somewhat puzzled, since even the non-wanton and non-Godless have not been spared. We have been consulting the Scriptures of the True Faith for enlightenment, but have so far found none.

There is another disturbing aspect to all this. After the current crisis passes, We fully expect that lewd, lascivious, Godless et cetera behaviour will continue (the world, and in particular Georgetown, being what it is) and that smiting will again be necessary. But what smiting can possibly top what we are seeing now? Truly, the ways of Above are inscrutable. Nevertheless, We shall continue to search for understanding, and We have Faith that an Answer will be forthcoming.

But enough about the Toronto Maple Leafs’ season.
We wish now to reassure the Faithful about the coronavirus. We have been conducting our services as usual, since the promulgation of the holy Teachings must continue unabated despite the so-called pandemic. We keep our distance from each other during the service, of course, and there is (as always) no touching. Attendance continues unabated, and Our adherents are both confident that they will be able to continue attending services. And so We and Our flock are unscathed.

As for you the non-Faithful, be assured that there will still be smiting if you continue your wicked ways, although We are uncertain what form the smiting will take.

Aykay F. Sebben, DoRK (in the True Faith)