Quotes

[Phantom Gtowner]

In 1958 when Red Sox' right hand pitcher Frank Sullivan was asked, "How do you pitch to (Mickey) Mantle?" Sullivan replied, "With tears in my eyes."

[Al Darby]

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

From Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

[Mark Llew]

“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them” — Barry Goldwater (right-wing Republican candidate for President of the US in 1964)

[Mark Llew]

"Je ne sais pas si tu es meilleur que les autres, mais, tu es sacrement plus beau." — comment on Justin Trudeau's Facebook page *







* "I don't know if you're better than the others, but you're more f*cking good-looking." [rough translation]

[Phantom Gtowner]

"If KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball." -Bill "Spaceman" Lee.

[Mark Llew]

"Trust, True Leadership and the Canada We Want

In the last weeks of this campaign, an issue has come to dominate the headlines.

It’s not raising hundreds of thousands of children and seniors out of poverty, or creating hundreds of thousands of jobs, and start to tackle many of the most important issues facing our communities - including the environment, infrastructure, jobs, and education.

It is the niqab.

Many people are shocked and dismayed that this is an issue, and say we shouldn’t be talking about it.

Stephen Harper insists this should be an election issue, because it is about values.

We should be talking about it, and it is about values, because Mr. Harper’s stance on the niqab and two-tier citizenship makes it crystal clear why he must be defeated.

In order to stay in power, Mr. Harper and his team are willing to undermine the safety of women with their rhetoric.

With Bill C-24, the Conservatives are willing to leave it to politicians - not courts - to strip citizens of all their rights without due process, for committing crimes of “disloyalty.”

The government has proposed setting up a tip line for “Barbaric Cultural Practices” - asking Canadians to spy on each other and turn each other in - when we already have 911.

What Mr. Harper is offering are not Canadian values. They are not conservative values. They are not Quebec values. They are not democratic values.

The politics of division and fear are cheap and easy, but they come at a terrible cost.

Trust is hard to win and easy to break.

Fear and division severs the bonds of trust we all depend upon to hold our society and communities together.

We need to be able to trust one another, and trust in our government enough to know that we will be treated fairly, equally and justly.

Stephen Harper and his advisors are willing to put all of that at risk because they think it will win them a few more seats.

This is a colossal failure of leadership.

True leaders don’t sow seeds of division that leave us weaker: they build trust and unite people to make us all stronger.

True leaders don’t control people through fear: they make their people safe.

True leaders sacrifice themselves - not others - for the common good.

We do not have to like what other people say, think, do, wear or believe. But if we expect others to respect our rights and freedoms, we must respect theirs.

Of course there are limits: your freedoms end where others' begin.

It is easy to give in to fear. It is easy to judge. It is easy to condemn. It is easy to appeal to the worst in people, and a challenge to bring out the best.

And in an atmosphere of fear and division, it can be all that much harder to take the risk of building trust.

Yet that is exactly what we must do, and not shy away from it because it is hard.

The right and moral thing to do is often the hard thing to do.

We need to look beyond the labels of ethnicity, religion and race to see that each of us is a person - a human being, with hopes and fears and dreams like ours.

Someone who, if only we reached out to them, could be a friend and ally and not a threat. A neighbour. A citizen. A fellow human being. A Canadian like us.

Canada’s strength is that anyone can be a Canadian. Many immigrants came here fleeing hardship and persecution from all over the world. They found a new country where they could leave old conflicts behind and build something new.

44 years ago today - October 9, 1971 - Pierre Trudeau told the Ukrainian Canadian Congress here in Winnipeg:

“There is no such thing as a model or ideal Canadian. What could be more absurd than the concept of an "all Canadian" boy or girl? A society which emphasizes uniformity is one which creates intolerance and hate.”

These are Quebec’s values, too. As René Lévesque said in 1976, “Est Québécois qui veut l’être.” “Whoever wants to be a Quebecer is one.”

These are the values of Trudeau and Laurier, of Diefenbaker, Mulroney and Clark, of Tommy Douglas and Jack Layton, of René Levesque and Therese Casgrain, of millions of men and women who built this country.

The decision for Canadians on October 19 is clear. It is more than a political choice: it is about the progressive values that define our country.

If we unite, and unite we must, the Conservatives can be defeated and the rebuilding can begin. I hope you will join us."
— Robert-Falcon Ouellette

[Mark Llew]

"Dear Mr. Harper,

I live in BC with my husband and two little girls. I grew up in Calgary and have many friends and family members there. I’m white and in my early 40s. One of us is a stay at home parent, so we benefit 100% from the direct deposits in lieu of a National Childcare Program. We also benefit 100% from income splitting. And we can afford to take advantage of the increased allowance in our TFSAs.

In other words, we’re the picture of the family who benefits the most from your economic policies.

But we’re not voting Conservative on October 19th.

You see, you’ve misjudged us. We enjoy our standard of living, we work hard for it but it’s not the only thing that matters to us.

You assume we don’t care about our First Nations neighbours, or Canadians trying to bring their family members here from war torn countries. That we don’t care about less fortunate Canadians, our veterans, or scientists. You think we don’t mind that to save a few bucks and balance the books we axed the census, dumped decades of research from our libraries, cut funding to CBC, under-spent our budgets in important departments and closed coast guard stations. You figure we no longer want our lakes and rivers protected and that we don’t understand that climate change is a far greater risk to our way of life than Barbaric Cultural Practices.

You’ve underestimated us.

On October 19, we’re not voting for our bank balance. We’re voting for change because we want the caring Canada of our youth back. The Canada that supported our single mothers that gave us the opportunity to succeed in the first place."

— Mary Cleaver (a voter in Vancouver)

[Phantom Gtowner]

"Whatever you may think, EVERYONE in this auditorium is wearing a uniform." -Francis Vincent Zappa (1940-1993).

[Mark Llew]

"When I read that former Toronto police chief Bill Blair is in charge of efforts to legalize pot in Canada, I couldn't help but recall the dread I felt when I was told my future father-in-law would be in charge of organizing my stag."
— David Wood, letter-writer to the Globe and Mail, January 14, 2016

[Phantom Gtowner]

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." -Oscar Wilde

[Mark Llew]

"Before you put your foot down, make sure you've got a leg to stand on." — Wally Crouter, RIP March 28, 2016

[Phantom Gtowner]

"Climate change is a myth!" -Donald Trump 2016.

[Mark Llew]

"The Crown has a legal duty to disclose all relevant information to the defence. The fruits of its investigation which are in its possession are not the property of the Crown for use in securing a conviction but the property of the public to be used to ensure that justice is done" — from the ruling of the Supreme Court of Canada in the 1991 Stinchcombe case, a landmark decision in Canadian jurisprudence.

[Mark Llew]

"Science requests, 'Give us one free miracle and we'll explain the rest.' And the one free miracle is the appearance of all the matter and energy in the universe and all the laws that govern it, from nothing at a single instant." — Rupert Sheldrake (quoting Terence McKenna)

[Mark Llew]

"He was an embittered atheist, the sort of atheist who does not so much disbelieve in God as personally dislike Him." — George Orwell

[Mark Llew]

"War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it." — George Orwell

[Phantom Gtowner]

"One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don't go into government." -Donald Trump 2016.

[Petitbois]

“Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this and there was a knock at the door and a woman said, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’ To which I said, ‘Well, many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?’”

Michael McIntyre (December 21 1976-)

[Petitbois]

'A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.'

Joan Rivers (1933-2014)

[Petitbois]

'My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine? Two dinners!'

Sarah Silverman (December 2 1970-)

[Petitbois]

'My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.'

Dave Barry (July 3 1947-)

[Petitbois]

Sir Bedevere: 'Now, why do witches burn?'
Peasant: '...because they're made of... wood?'
Sir Bedevere: 'Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?'
Peasant 2: 'Build a bridge out of her.'

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[Petitbois]

'She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.'

Bob Hope (1903-2003)

[Petitbois]

'Two elderly women are at a Catskill restaurant. One of them says, "Boy, the food at this place is just terrible." The other one says, "Yeah I know. And such small portions."

Woody Allen (December 1 1935-)

[Petitbois]

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?"

Billy Connolly (November 24 1942-)