Honouring An Impending BirthMark

Have fun and enjoy. stories, humour, comments or whatever, but keep it in good taste, this site is viewed by all ages and religions.

Moderator: Mark Llew

Honouring An Impending BirthMark

Postby Petitbois » Mon Oct 24, 2016 12:12 pm

We don't hear much from themanwithtoomanyLL's these days, but there's a plausible reason:
the internet is very spotty at his nursing home.
Once in a while he posts something he heard while watching a shuffleboard match....a 'quotation' of note, but most days it's 'most daze'.
Since this week he slips into the next decade...becoming a Septilian or a Septenarian or Septage or Septician or Septuagenarian....I thought I'd try to cheer him up while he still could understand written language.

So, to honour my old friend...and he IS old, compared to a much younger me....here are a few stories that describe the future challenges of his new decade.

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, Mark gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, Mark returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman from the Beeches already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' Mark said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

A much younger guy from the Glen said to his eighty-year old buddy, Mark:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Mark was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

Mark, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Mark walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Mark and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Mark replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

A little old man shuffled slowly into an iscreamforicecream parlour in Erin and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
John asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' Mark replied, 'Arthritis.'

I know many of you will want to call him, to wish him well, to congratulate him on still being able to type at his advanced age, to share cherished recipes for prunes and pureed vegetables, or simply to give advice as to where he may have left his teeth.......
Be patient! He's slower getting to the phone. And by the time he does, he may have forgotten why he came over to that side of the room, and just stand there dreaming lusty thoughts of fine flaxed Welsh sheep, or wistfully remembering the pungent odour of a peat fire in the middle of the hovel of his youth in the highlands.
But I know you join me in wishing him this greeting....

Happy Birthday Old Trout!
The Dragon Whisperer
User avatar
Petitbois
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 2319
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Glen Williams

Re: Honouring An Impending BirthMark

Postby linda paul » Wed Oct 26, 2016 2:11 pm

Happy birthday Mr. Llewellyn. Mine is tomorrow. Scorpios are the best. Hope you have the type of day you deserve. :hb:
linda paul
 
Posts: 826
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 11:31 pm

Re: Honouring An Impending BirthMark

Postby Mark Llew » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:29 pm

And to you too Linda !

I hope today was made special for you.

:hb:
:cheer:
:drunk:
Mark Llew
 
Posts: 1131
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 11:46 am
Location: Toronto


Return to Oddz-n-Sodz

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron