Alas! the pernicious effect of democracy on the moral fibre

[Petitbois]

"Mr Petitbois, We are not amused by this childish, untruthful attempt to tweak Our whiskers."
Whisker tweaking is what I do.

"You mention “being smitten by the Dork”. First, it is ‘DoRK’, not ‘Dork’. Second, We are A DoRK, not THE DoRK."

Oh, Double D, you are so wrong!
You shouldn't sell yourself short- you are BOTH!
You see yourself from a position of self-conceit, through cloudy eyes....as DoRK
But everyone else sees you as THE DORK!! The DORKUS Supremus! UltraDORK!! Super DORK!
Walk proud- you have reached the Pinnacle of DORKNESS!!!

"the smiting does not come from Us, as you suggest, but from Above — surely this is obvious, even to such as you?"

Precisely! You have NOTHING whatsoever to do with any smiting that might occur, any misfortune that any of us might have to deal with.
So you therefore must cease and desist on the smite threats. They have nothing to do with you, as you so clearly point out, lest you be guilty of blasphemy etc...
So, to quote Monty's Python....."Shut yer festering gob!"
Instead, focus on your golf game, or improving your bbq skills, or even increase your shower routine.... if you ever hope to replace your goat with a non-inflatable woman.

[Petitbois]

Double D,
Perhaps I misspoke.
Obviously your warnings about imminent smitings are, as you clearly explained, totally unrelated to your (in)ability to call down fire and brimstone. Since you have no credibility in that department, and no one pays any attention to your rantings, how about a change in approach?

You would serve your cause much better if you focussed on explaining your theology.
Stop criticizing.
Start proselytizing.
Win us over with your convictions**.
What are the dozen main tenets of your beliefs?
Explain the advantages of your faith. Or cult. Or whatever it is.
Why should people in, say,..... Erin, .....convert to your undefined, vague, nebulous doctrine?
ie: How will JB's life improve if he turns from Blue Light to the TRUE LIGHT?

We look forward to your detailed theological seminar. Perhaps you could post an online video!!
How about a weekly video seminar, a chance for GTOLers to meet the man, to warm to the welcoming, compassionate human being you too often hide under a thin veneer of bluster and vitriol and dire warnings of doom?
Even a few pictures would go a long way.....your snazzy robes, your homestead, your Movember facial foliage, your pet goat...let your imagination run wild.
Look what a little publicity has done for Trump!
He's moved from being just a rich clown/moron with a bad combover, to a well-known leading GOP rich clown/moron with a bad combover.
You too could make a parallel metamorphosis!
Think about it.
Remember, only a worm can't fall down!

**Note. "Your convictions"
That term was not meant to stir up old memories. Certainly, mistakes from the past do resurface occasionally.
You did your time, you paid your debt to society, and we must move forward.
And to be fair, your previous behaviour, which I won't mention, is deemed almost normal....in some (other) places..... that heat with peat bricks, and like you, revere their sheep/companions as much as you do.
Just sayin'....

[Petitbois]

"proselytizing"

Thanks for your inquiry, JB.
No, that does NOT mean that His DorKness has a wooden leg.

[Petitbois]

"You would serve your cause much better if you focussed on explaining your theology.
Stop criticizing. Start proselytizing....Win us over with your convictions**.
What are the dozen main tenets of your beliefs?
Explain the advantages of your faith. .....Blue Light to the TRUE LIGHT?
We look forward to your detailed theological seminar.....post an online video!!
How about a weekly .... under a thin veneer of bluster and vitriol and dire warnings of doom?
Even a few pictures ....your snazzy robes, your homestead, your Movember facial foliage, your pet goat...let your imagination run wild."

Guess I asked the wrong questions...Dr. D isn't too clear in his own cloudy mind about what he actually believes, so explaining it in a way that would win new converts is a real challenge for his theological roots.
Plus, I hear through the grapevine that he, too, is off on vacation, clad in sombre sweat-wicking robes, lying on a desolate beach that is frequented by goats and sheep, watching carefully where he steps, indulging in self-flagelation with a cactus branch, and sipping tall glasses of some green fermented concoction that his guru oracle hinted will improve blood flow to his nether regions.
If he makes it through airport security, he should be back in a month or two, refreshed, anxious to double the size of his flock, pun intended.

[Petitbois]

Surprise, surprise!

While recently strolling the white sands in Cuba, who do I run into???
The DoRK himself!!
Lying on a chaise lounge in a Speedo, his swarthiness ensconced in oil, a noxious cigar belching a cloud of blue smoke while his other hand cradled a mojito!
He was surrounded by a bevy of babes, his "posse", as he called it, but his pronunciation was a little off, like Trump's.

Apparently the offering plate at DoRK's services in the fall generated enough cash to enable this 'spiritual retreat', so that he might return, refreshed, in a spirit of righteous indignation. Though he offered no sermon, he was overheard explaining that he needed to 'fully understand the sins of the flesh' if he was going to preach against them.
He appeared to be well on his way to full understanding.

His 'religious retreat' explains his absence here over the past few months.

[ScourgeoftheFaithless]

Mr. Petitbois, you have been taken in by an impostor, to wit Our evil twin brother. We are not surprised, either at his lewd and disgusting behaviour or at the fact that you were present and also indulging in such wickedness. However, We are dismayed that you would stoop to aiding and abetting him in his theft of Our identity and promulgating such falsehoods. Surely even such a benighted godless heathen and apostate such as yourself would know at once that the wanton creature that you consorted with was not Us.

We expect a retraction and apology forthwith.

AF Sebben, DoRK (itTF)

[Al Darby]

Careful PB, Promulgation between dissenting adults is "forbaded" on this site. (or should that be "forbidded" / "forbaten" (Teutonically speaking))

[Petitbois]

Careful PB, Promulgation between dissenting adults is "forbaded" on this site. (or should that be "forbidded" / "forbaten" (Teutonically speaking))

Thanks for the heads up, Al.
I haven't promulgated for a long time....not since I read it could lead to blindness, so I quit when I needed glasses. As to Dork.....when you see him near-naked, in that tiny hot-pink speedo, covered in long black body hair, like a sasquatch at the beach, it isn't difficult to imagine him compulsively self-promulgating. Hopefully he will be forbidden from promulgatory activities in public, including this site. Tectonically speaking.
And if the adults are consenting???

[Al Darby]

All that body hair, is D-I-Y thermal underwear.

[Petitbois]

No confirmation on this, but a recent rumour is that DoRK is not happy with his current wardrobe.
Apparently, he does not enjoy having to wear a 'dinner jacket' that does up in the back.....but the staff insist it is only temporary: once the meds stabilize him, and he stops foaming at the mouth every time someone mentions the possibility of the US having a female president, he will be given more freedom.

His flock will be glad to hear that news!

PB

(A court-appointed guardian has been assigned to tend to his flock.....a Welsh fellow with rubber boots)

[John_Bailey]

Tell him not to worry the Donald will take care of her. The Dork will roam free again.

[Petitbois]

A 'free range' DoRK!!
What a concept!

[linda paul]

What do you gentlemen think about the upcoming "No Bra" day?

[John_Bailey]

That depends.