"Mr Petitbois, We are not amused by this childish, untruthful attempt to tweak Our whiskers."
Whisker tweaking is what I do.
"You mention “being smitten by the Dork”. First, it is ‘DoRK’, not ‘Dork’. Second, We are A DoRK, not THE DoRK."
Oh, Double D, you are so wrong!
You shouldn't sell yourself short- you are BOTH!
You see yourself from a position of self-conceit, through cloudy eyes....as DoRK
But everyone else sees you as THE DORK!! The DORKUS Supremus! UltraDORK!! Super DORK!
Walk proud- you have reached the Pinnacle of DORKNESS!!!
"the smiting does not come from Us, as you suggest, but from Above — surely this is obvious, even to such as you?"
Precisely! You have NOTHING whatsoever to do with any smiting that might occur, any misfortune that any of us might have to deal with.
So you therefore must cease and desist on the smite threats. They have nothing to do with you, as you so clearly point out, lest you be guilty of blasphemy etc...
So, to quote Monty's Python....."Shut yer festering gob!"
Instead, focus on your golf game, or improving your bbq skills, or even increase your shower routine.... if you ever hope to replace your goat with a non-inflatable woman.